How to be an idiot (a comprehensive guide)

Well as I begin to type it's 3:37am and I can hear birds chirping outside between the breaks in my John Mayer playlist, so all logic says I should be asleep, but since when did I let logic dictate my actions?  Why am I writing so early in the morning? Well, the coffee at 10 o'clock didn't help, but really I've been up til around two or three fairly often recently. Why? I really couldn't tell you, been doing a lot of thinking... too many questions, not as many answers as I'd like, I think I've pieced together maybe one serviceable musical verse, written a lot of, um... I guess I would call them proverbs, just realizations and quips that pop into my head between the tossing and turn of attempting to fall asleep, if you ask nicely I might share them one of these days, but not this morning. I really don't know where I'm going with this post, like I said I've had way too many questions recently without answers and nobody likes a beginning of a story with out an end so I'm going to save you the absolute boredom and unfathomable abyss of my mind, for now.

 I will share with you a little moment today (yesterday) that really made me smile for a considerable amount of time. For the first time in a while on a walk around campus on a pretty dreary day I flashed back to a similar day in Rhode Island 5 or 6 years ago, I guess because it takes place in my old house. It was weird because it was the most arbitrary memory, just me, Drew, mom and dad in the kitchen and what I remember was my mom just staring out the window commenting on what a rotten day it was. Then for absolutely no reason my dad turned her around and kissed her for a pretty liberal amount of time especially when you consider me and Drew sitting there. As I remember it me and Drew were equally discussed by the uncalled for PDA and so the inevitable question arose "Dad why did you do that?" and he simply smiled at us and said "Because I love your mother".

 Now all of you are now thinking one of two things "awwww thats so cute" or "Fonts, the fuck man why do I care?" Both are valid points, but let me explain why that one, minute long memory put a smile on my face today. Most of you have met my dad, some know him better than others, so let me paint you a picture: my dad is my definition of a hardworking, passionate, committed human being. In everything he does, if he commits to it, he follows through no matter what, shirking responsibility to him is the worst thing someone can do. And for the most part he is pretty serious and intense all the time, he's not a huge fan of sarcasm and is a very straight shooter which my brothers and I have appreciated throughout his raising of us. I believe that the way he holds himself and acts is a enormous part of how I conduct myself: especially when I am upset or angry, I'm not one to let those emotions cloud the task at hand.

But the crux of the story is not about what my dad is usually, the crux of the story is that in rare, sporadic and unpredictable circumstances my dad acts like a complete dumb ass. There are only two possibilities when he does and they are usually related. Reason 1: he's kinda a light weight, all the power too him, he has probably tapered off with age but 3 or 4 brews and he's having a good time. Reason number two is my mom. They go through the day, do all they can for me and my brothers and except for gas money from me, expect nothing in return. It's quite incredible when you think about it, and you have to imagine the amount of love they have for their kids. But on a rare occasion like this memory my dad will act like a complete idiot all because he loves this woman he met at a college fair in Philadelphia 26 years ago just as much now as he did then. And that kinda blows my mind when I think about it for too long. So that's what I'm gonna try to focus on now... When ever I get down for what ever reason I'm just gonna run that scene through a couple times and have a good chuckle at the look on my dad's face. And I hope everyone can find a story like that, maybe recently, maybe 5 or 10 years old that you can draw on every once and a while and just laugh. Because you  have to think, teenagers have it hard, but parents of teenagers, oh god bless them. It's a struggle and when they go away on business for a few days or weeks, or when they get home late every night for a fortnight because of work, it takes a tole on them. And to see after 26 years, and whole lot of gray hair later they still wake up on Sundays just to enjoy the silence of a house that by noon will be exploding. That gives me a little hope that I'l be able to handle tomorrow and that someday, maybe a long long time from today, I'll be able to look at someone and with zero reservation act like a god damn fool, and enjoy every second of doing so.

So it's 4:07, I think that's enough for tonight (this morning) hope you enjoyed the read, the write was pretty fun. Be noted that I don't spell check too often, thank you for fighting through it. I am now going to hit the hay, got a decent sized day ahead of me.

As always,
Don;t be a stranger, I get bored here sometimes

Matthew son of Raul Fonts

PS if you need me between now and October there's a good chance I'm watching baseball #GoMets